The Peanut Gallery

Hey Nathan!

2008-08-28T14:03:00.001-05:00

An update! I started a myspace page - www.myspace.com/josh_benesh - if you have an account, friend me and you can read my new "blog".

Hey, I'm not dead!

2007-07-25T10:37:00.000-05:00

Yeah, I know you all thought I was dead. Or just neglecting my blog. What's new? Other than the Simpsons movie that I will be seeing Thursday night at midnight - technically Friday - nothing. Please refer to my previous post about yield signs, as last night on my way home, some BMW driving idiot with a sense of entitlement ignored the sign. I refused to alter my course of direction, and essentially, cut them off, through all the fault of their own. They then chose to flash their high-beams at me. I guess those expensive headlights aren't good for seeing signs, but they'll sure express your ire at someone who wouldn't get out of your way! I've been golfing hardcore this summer, but it's still a frustrating game - I can't seem to break 88 this year. I've also been becoming a Guitar Hero jedi/ninja/kung-fu master. I've been in a few tournaments and have won some bar tabs, concert tickets, etc. Anyway, if anyone sees this, thanks for reading. I'll update more often now...I think.

It's bloggin time

2007-04-16T20:39:00.000-05:00

I know I haven't written here in quite some time, I have been busy. Regardless, today is a day that requires something.
In our lifetimes, we get the opportunity to witness historical events that will forever ring in time. Our grandparents had the World Wars, the Depression, Pearl Harbor. Our parents had Vietnam, Iran Contra, the gas shortages, Kent State and Reganomics. Already in my lifetime, as in yours - if you are reading this - we have experienced 2 wars in Iraq, Columbine, 9/11 and today, a massacre of truly epic proportions. 33 people died needlessly today, including the man who took 32 of those lives with his own hand. 26 other people are fighting for their lives. As most people have read, this is the worst mass shooting in modern times. We are truly reminded how lucky we are to be here, and to cherish every day - as we never know who or what is lurking around the next corner we come to. Please keep those 59 people and their families in your thoughts, and hope for brighter days ahead for our generation.

Yeah, so what? You wanna fight about it?

2007-02-14T18:44:00.000-06:00

Happy Valentine's Day you saps. Yeah, I know I haven't posted in over a month, so what? You wanna fight about it? I had a good Christmas, New Year's and January, although I didn't get as drunk as I would have liked to. I started going to the gym that I've had a membership to since last year - not as a resolution, but because I was slowly approaching 400 pounds and diabetes. I don't want diabetes, I like my hands and feet. Anyway, since I've joined I've lost 14 pounds, and have also increased my strength and stamina - conditionally speaking.
Regardless, I'll get on more of a posting track, and will post more regularly, even though I'm not interested in the Timberwolves at this point, and the Wild are getting little of my attention. But, there are always more things I can rant about.

Merry Freakin Christmas.

2006-12-23T22:42:00.000-06:00

I just wanted to wish everyone a happy and safe holiday week. Thanks for reading!

Who I like tonight, and I don't mean Bryant Gumbel.

2006-12-21T11:51:00.000-06:00

Minnesota over GREEN BAY

Apparently I'm supposed to bowl 4 games tonight, so I'll fill you in later.

¿Se dice quieres jamón?

2006-12-14T21:52:00.000-06:00

Go to freetranslation.com if you need to know what the title of this post is, but I have a feeling that after you read this, you'll have a pretty good idea.

I have no problem with foreigners who work in this country. None whatsoever. I disagree with the fact that they will work in positions that "normal" Americans wouldn't, because I believe anyone, of any race, creed, color or nationality will work doing anything if they needed to badly enough. But that is a whole other issue. No, my only problem is foreigners who work in this country, but don't bother to learn english - not necessarily enough to talk to every cracker that comes into their place of business - but english to the point that they can do their job adequately. I was at Subway this afternoon with Holly. This Subway happens to be in downtown Minneapolis. The retaurant happens to be employed by an overwhelming majority of persons of Latin descent. By majority I mean everyone but the 75 year old white woman who works the register so slowly, that there is eventually a backup of 12 sandwiches, which frequently get mixed up, and I get a Veggie Delight instead of my freaking steak. Regardless (notice I didn't say irregardless, because that isn't a word) today I was having my sandwich made, when the guy behind me ordered a ham sandwich. Just plain ham, nothing else. But the girl behind the counter decides that the guy really wants turkey and roast beef, so she puts this on the sandwich. I tell the gentleman behind me what is going on, because he isn't paying attention. Don't harp on me because I was paying attention to someone else's business, you'd be doing it too, jerk. He tells the girl, I want ham, not turkey. She looks at him like he ordered a nuclear warhead instead of a sub. This is my problem. The man ordered something OBVIOUSLY on the menu, yet the aptly named sandwich artist had NO CLUE. Please, if you are from another country, and choose to work somewhere that you will have to deal with people, learn the words: ham, big mac, quarter pounder, no cheese, supersize, fire sauce, etc. I will forever be grateful, and will value your presence in our country so much more than I already do. I'm now going to eat my pizza, Viva Italia.

Bowling went well tonight, we as a team bowled well enough to win all seven points, but the team we bowled rolled a hell of a lot better. I bowled a 170, 221 and a 245. Which is so much better than I've bowled the last few weeks. We only won one game - 2 points - but we felt like things are headed in the right direction. This weekend is the center finals of that tournament I entered over a month ago. I bowl Saturday, I hope things go well. And to those of you who are bored by my bowling posts, fuck you. Where's your blog?

This week's picks:
Home team in CAPS

Dallas over ATLANTA
Have you seen pictures of the Cowboys new stadium? I hate the Cowboys, and I think I hate Jerry Jones more.

MINNESOTA over New York Jets
Tough call. Chad Pennington can be Peyton Manning or Archie Manning on any given week. Considering they won't run the ball, I'm hoping Archie shows up.

Jacksonville over TENNESSEE
Another tough one. The Jags absolutely killed Indy last week, and one would think that they would steamroll through the Titans, but VY is the stuff. Too bad the Texans couldn't draft him... This will be a close one.

GREEN BAY over Detroit
Detroit sucks. Matt Millen is an idiot, and Lion ownership is JUST starting to realize this?

CHICAGO over Tampa Bay
I guess Tank Johnson had some sort of gun charge today. This could be bad for Chicago's "legendary" defense, which has sucked as of late, and by of late, I mean the last 8 weeks.

NEW ORLEANS over Washington
Holy crap the Saints offense can roll. Washington will want to die this Sunday.

Pittsburgh over CAROLINA
Ugh, maybe they should play without helmets? Might make this one interesting. I'm sure Ben Roethlisberger will be all for it.

BALTIMORE over Cleveland
Cleveland is 1-11 against AFC North teams under Romeo Crennel. This should be a slaughter.

NEW ENGLAND over Houston
If Tom Brady loses this one, I'm pretty sure his head will explode too, Peter King.

Miami over BUFFALO
Should be a good game. Miami has come on of late, and Buffalo has played everyone tough, especially at home.

ARIZONA over Denver
Yeah, I know. But I have to make up points somewhere. Matt Leinart is 3-1 the past 4 weeks. Denver has Jay Cutler going, the offense is somewhat anemic. Could actually be a blowout for the Cardinals.

NEW YORK GIANTS over Philadelphia
Another good game - Jeff Garcia has been a surprisingly decent replacement for Donovan McNabb. The Giants might be pissed that their season is sucking the way it is, and this is a division game, in New York.

St Louis over OAKLAND
Oakland has a shot, seeing as how no one cares anymore on the Rams' team.

SAN DIEGO over Kansas City
Could be a high scoring affair, with LDT getting somewhere in the neighborhood of 8 touchdowns.

INDIANAPOLIS over Cincinnati
Last year they combined for 80 some-odd points. This one might be no different, and on MNF of all places. Look for both teams to score in excess of 28 points, with the final score within 6. In addition, the Bengals had their 8th player of the season arrested this past week. Way to go. I'm just wondering if they can crack ten!

And there you have it.
Last Week: 9-7
Season: 125-83

Sign, Sign, Everywhere a sign.

2006-12-13T21:04:00.000-06:00

You know what really grinds my gears? People in the western suburbs don't know how to drive. It's not like it is in the southern suburbs where people just drive like maniacs, or in the north where people speed and don't look where they're going. No, in the western suburbs of Minneapolis people can't read a fucking street sign. The most common mistranslation comes from the difficult french sign "Yield". I know these can be difficult, being an upside-down triangle and all, but we all learned at the age of 15 what a damn yield sign is, and what it means. My drive home from work consists of driving directly west on a commonly travelled highway, not a freeway or an interstate, but a highway. There are intersections with lights, etc. At these intersections there are entrance lanes for people to enter the highway, but they are marked with that upside-down triangle. I wonder if people don't see them, because that reflective white and red can be difficult, especially at night. Mainly, I think people assume they have some sort of entitlement to the road 20 feet directly ahead of their car, which means I am supposed to be aware that they are coming into my lane, in rush hour traffic, and it is my job to accomodate their car. Fuck that. I have NUMEROUS times had people come out directly as I am getting to them, and I have purposely kept side by side with them so they ride the shoulder, and into a ditch if they don't knock it the hell off. They look over at me, like I'm doing something wrong, when it is me who is obeying all local laws and regulations, maintaining speed and within the lane that I am travelling. So, to those of you who need a refresher - Yield means, stay the fuck put until you can safely and easily enter traffic.

Tomorrow:
SEATTLE over San Francisco

Everyone has AIDS.

2006-12-08T19:40:00.000-06:00

I'm sitting here watching Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer on CBS for what probably is the 23rd consecutive year. Christmas is near. What I've always wondered is why when Rudolph's nose blinks, it makes a weird whistling sound, like someone who breathes too hard through the gap in their teeth, or when my dad falls asleep on the couch, and is wheezing through his nose.

I know that recently my football picks haven't garnered much attention, because they've been borderline horrible, and I haven't been able to provide witty commentary on each game, so this week I will just give the winners in an effort to pick the winners instead of trying to be funny.

Regardless, football picks:

Baltimore over KANSAS CITY

Tennessee over HOUSTON

CAROLINA over New York Giants

CINCINNATI over Oakland

Philadelphia over WASHINGTON

Atlanta over TAMPA BAY

Indianapolis over JACKSONVILLE

Minnesota over DETROIT

New England over MIAMI

SAN FRANCISCO over Green Bay

Seattle over ARIZONA

NEW YORK JETS over Buffalo

SAN DIEGO over Denver

DALLAS over New Orleans

Chicago over ST LOUIS

And there you have it.
Last week: 8-8
Season: 116-76

I suck at bowling.

2006-12-07T21:47:00.000-06:00

So tonight was one of the worst nights of the year, and I feel like absolute crap. Probably because of the 3 Honduran cigars I smoked, which always make me ill. Anyway, I had a 137, 148 and a 152. Total suck, two weeks in a row. I hope I get out of this funk next week. It was the playoff round tonight, and no thanks to me, we did win 4 points, giving us 3rd place for the 1st half. Regardless, I sucked. Tomorrow, football picks.

Stupid NFL

2006-12-06T21:45:00.001-06:00

PITTSBURGH over Cleveland

Whoa. - Keanu Reeves

2006-12-02T16:06:00.000-06:00

So, I spent last night getting plowed. I didn't puke, but rather passed out on a couch at a friends' house. This is a major step forward for me, as me getting shitfaced generally results in me redecorating someone's bathroom, front or back yard. Although I feel like absolute crap today because I didn't puke, I'm proud that I didn't heave the chicken parmesan that I'd had earlier in the evening - the same chicken parmesan that my Dad used to make on Wednesday nights while we would watch Unsolved Mysteries. Robert Stack scared the shit out of me.

Football picks, home team in CAPS.

Indianapolis over TENNESSEE
This game will be closer than you'd think. The Titans almost beat Indy awhile back, but Vince Young is coming into some type of his own.

ST LOUIS over Arizona
I hear Pat Summerall will be commentating this game. Hide the scotch.

CHICAGO over Minnesota
This one will be closer than you think too, but the Vikes will fall on their face again.

New York Jets over GREEN BAY
It must suck to be Brett Favre.

NEW ORLEANS over San Francisco
I bet the Dolphins are kicking themselves now that they picked Daunte over Drew Brees. I'm sure I probably said that same thing a few weeks ago, but it's still great to say.

San Diego over BUFFALO
So I was wrong about the Chargers last week, they didn't score 70 points against Phillip, but hey, they won didn't they?

Kansas City over CLEVELAND
Trent Green's return resulted in a win, but nothing special. He should be able to beat up on the Brownstains.

WASHINGTON over Atlanta
Can you spell overrated with Michael Vick?

NEW ENGLAND over Detroit
This could be murder.

MIAMI over Jacksonville
Close game, but the Jags are horrible on the road.

Houston over OAKLAND
The Texans might make Oakland's offense look decent, but it's still Oakland.

PITTSBURGH over Tampa Bay
Does anyone care that this game is happening?

Dallas over NEW YORK GIANTS
Tony Romo is hot shit. Yeah, I'm a Romosexual. I wish I could display sarcasm in text. I can't stand the Cowboys, and I can't stand the Giants.

DENVER over Seattle
Tough game, Alexander and Hasselbeck are back, but this one will be in Denver, with cold weather and possibly snow.

CAROLINA over Philadelphia
All I can say is: Sorry Philly. For everything.

And there you have it.
Last Week: 11-5
Season: 108-68

And before you know it, you'll be on your roof, pooping in your chimney!

2006-11-30T22:32:00.000-06:00

I surely pooped in the chimney tonight at bowling, and with an audience to boot. Dave, Hans, Luke, Andie and Dave's sister Alicia came tonight. I hate having a week off between bowling, especially - expecially for those less versed in vernacular - when we have to bowl the first place team, with a chance to overtake them. Boy did I crap the bed. I had a decent first two games, 178 and a 180, but then after seeing Dave's belt buckle - better known as his sac over the top of his pants - I pulled out a measly 137. I didn't even break 500. And after having two awesome weeks. Anyway, I suppose I need to post football picks tomorrow, even though they don't hold meaning for anyone, and I'm already in the hole, as the Bengals pulled off a Taylor Hicks like upset. Who woulda thought? And don't tell me you don't know who Taylor Hicks is, unless you live under a rock, you have no excuse. American Idol takes over the planet every January, and I can't escape - nee, excape - it either. Sorry, I'm rambling.

Oh, and if you want to see the funniest advertisment ever, go here, and make sure you have your sound up.

Hey guys, look at me, I'm covered in balls! Just like Sharon Stone.

2006-11-29T22:29:00.000-06:00

Because the NFL decided to be stupid and start having games on Thursday nights again, I have to post a football pick on Wednesday. Ugh. I have the NFL network, but I hear it's one long commercial interrupted by a football game. I suppose I'll catch the end after bowling. Anyway, Baltimore over CINCINNATI.

Rest in peace, Brandon Carlson.

2006-11-23T22:19:00.000-06:00

Brandon Carlson

Today really wasn't the Thanksgiving I had expected. Not too long after posting my football picks, I received a call from my sister that she was heading to the hospital. I asked what for. I learned that a mutual friend of ours, Brandon Carlson, was in a motorcycle accident, and was in critical condition, about to be operated on at Regions Hospital in St. Paul. I made sure to tell her to drive safely, and keep me updated. Not more than 4 hours later, we received another call, letting us know that Brandon had died.
He had bought a new crotch-rocket about a week ago, after receiving his motorcycle permit. He was out riding with a friend, when his rear tire entered a seam in the concrete. With your weight so far forward on a sport bike, the rear tire in this type of situation would become unstable, and squirly. This happened, and he lost control. He hit the curb, and was thrown into the ditch. In flight, he attempted to grab a road sign post, and it was then he was wrapped around it, and his shoes and helmet flew off. Thankfully, the car behind him was watching all of this, and its occupants were very knowledgeable regarding first responder procedures. They were able to get him off from around the sign-post, get him breathing again, even though he was still unconscious. The ambulance arrived not too long afterward, and he was transported to Regions. It was said that if he were to make it, his right arm and foot would have to be amputated. He entered surgery at 12:24 PM today. The sugeons were able to stop the bleeding in his abdomen, but were not able to stop the bleeding in his brain. He died around 3:00 P.M. due to a combination of inexperience and an unfortunate string of events.
You were a fun guy to be around, you made other peoples lives brighter, and you were a loving brother, son, cousin, uncle and friend. He was 20 years old. He wanted to be a police officer. He was a good kid, who like to raise a little hell every now and again. Everyone can be thankful for the times we had with you, and for the doctors who tried valiantly to keep you with us. You are in a better place now, waiting for the rest of us. You will be missed.

On this Thanksgiving, please be thankful for the people in your life who love you, and for those who you love.

I've got a stomachful of Xanax. I took what was left of a bottle. It might have been too much.

2006-11-23T10:14:00.000-06:00

Happy Thanksgiving turkeys! I suppose before I can get to eating copius amounts of bird - dark meat only please - along with many, many plates of my Mom's stuffing, and drinking til I get that great wine buzz, I need to say a few things:
Holy crap Dennis Green is done. Guess I didn't see that one coming. (Please note the sarcasm). Regardless, what does that mean for the Vikes on Sunday? A freakin' win, that's what. Who's to say that Denny won't throw the game for Brad Johnson's sake? Everyone knows Brad Johnson is Denny's favorite player in history. Well, maybe behind Daunte Culpepper.

This weeks picks, home team in CAPS.

Miami over DETROILET
Christ, Joey Harrington is the second coming in Miami. Of course, it took the Vikings to make him look like Joe freaking Montana last week.

DALLAS over Tampa Bay
Romosexual has been a god send for Dallas. I didn't think they'd have a chance with Bledsoe back there, but Parcells made the right move.

Denver over KANSAS CITY
I feel sorry for those of you who won't be able to see this game, because you have Time Warner, or Dish, or whatever. I have Comcast - price gouging assholes - but at least I get the NFL Network, complete the Bryant Gumbel's pompous commentary. Too bad they cancelled Gumbel to Gumbel.

ST LOUIS over San Francisco
San Fran has been crap. They beat the Vikings because they couldn't score. The Rams can score.

MINNESOTA over Arizona
So long Denny Green!

Carolina over WASHINGTON
The Panthers are coming on, and they get another weak opponent.

NEW YORK JETS over Houston
The Jets look like they could win the AFC East. Sounds like blasphemy doesn't it?

Jacksonville over BUFFALO
The Jags looked okay against a banged up Giants team. Buffalo has a decent defense, but I think Jax can overcome it.

New Orleans over ATLANTA
Good matchup, on paper. Atlanta has been horrid lately. Michael Vick is coming back to earth, and the Falcons D is hurting, still.

BALTIMORE over Pittsburgh
The Ravens sure have looked good lately. Pittsburgh has looked really bad. This could be lopsided.

SAN DIEGO over Oakland
This might be the most lopsided game of the year. It could seriously end 70-10.

New York Giants over TENNESSEE
The Giants have had a bad run, the Titans aren't that great. I think Eli will overcome his yips this week.

Chicago over NEW ENGLAND
The Pats looks great last week - against Green Bay, with Aaron Rodgers. Chicago is not Green Bay. This will be an awesome game.

INDIANAPOLIS over Philadelphia
This won't be good. No McNabb, no points.

SEATTLE over Green Bay
Shaun Alexander is coming back, Brett Favre has a bad funny bone, and their second stringer is done. So, who did Green Bay sign as their backup? Todd Bouman. Mr. Hot Tub himself. I guess that's not funny if you don't live in Minnesota.

And there you have it.
Last Week: 9-7
Season: 97-63

I'm Winston Wolfe. I solve problems.

2006-11-18T10:36:00.000-06:00

This is why you don't EVER give your keys to your 14 year old child. EVER.

Sorry I didn't post last night, I had to work late at the office and then pack some clothes for the night. I sure could use the Wolfe this week. The last 4 weeks have been absolutely horrible in picking. I haven't scored higher than 7 points. What the hell is with the NFL, parity or something? Anyway, I had a sleep study last night to help determine the cause of why I'm so tired all of the time, and start to treat my sleep apnea. Well, the instruments said I slept okay but I feel like shit and I think I slept like hell. I also had only 3 instances of apnea, whereas you need 10-15 per hour to get treatment. This is the second time this happened, even though I was given Ambien this time. I slept like crap and it affected the tests. So, I guess I'll just continue to stop breathing in my sleep to the point that I'll have a heart attack someday and die. We all die someday, I guess mine will be in my sleep. Fuckin' doctors. Sorry for being so morbid. On to football!

Home Team in CAPS

NEW ORLEANS over Cincinnati
Cincy has been on a crash the last few weeks, and it will continue at the Superdome.

Buffalo over HOUSTON
This is a tough one. Could go either way, and knowing my luck over the past few weeks, the Texans will win.

New England over GREEN BAY
Should be a high scoring affair, with the Pats D banged up, and Green Bay sucking and all.

KANSAS CITY over Oakland
Phillip can't score on Offense and KC is a hard place to play on the road. I wonder if Trent Green will go the whole game?

BALTIMORE over Atlanta
Ahh, the Michael Vick of old - good to see. Ever since Brian Billick took over the offense, the Ravens can actually score. That and their potent D? Could be a post season spoiler? Can anyone say Pittsburgh?

Chicago over NEW YORK JETS
The Giants were a tougher test for the Bears than the Jets will be, that and they have a good idea what the field will play like. I think the Bears will play a fairly mistake free game.

Pittsburgh over CLEVELAND
Cleveland sucks, Pittsburgh sucks. Looks like a 24-21 type game.

CAROLINA over St. Louis
I like the Panthers at home, and I don't like the Rams on grass. The cats may begin their charge towards the playoffs tomorrow.

PHILADELPHIA over Tennessee
Looks overpowering on paper, and it probably will be. I doubt Vince has played this late in the season outdoors - might be a little too cold for him to get anything going.

TAMPA BAY over Washington
Again, another blah matchup. There are too many of these this season, and it's so hard to pick, but I think the Bucs' defense will keep wheelchair-bound Brunell in check.

Minnesota over MIAMI
We couldn't possibly lose 3 in a row to horrible teams could we? Miami's defense is decent, and so is ours. Both offenses are anemic, could be a 17-14 type game.

Seattle over SAN FRANCISCO
Seattle has played well in Matt Hasselbeck's absence, and Shaun Alexander is coming back this week. The 'hawks may be gaining steam.

Detroit over ARIZONA
The pink taco stadium reeks again.

Indianapolis over DALLAS
Too many people look at the Cowboys and say 'they're decent, they have a shot' - NO - they've beaten bad teams all season, and have lost to good ones. I've said it all season. Even with the Romosexual back there, Indy will win. This one could be 35-28.

San Diego over DENVER
Have you SEEN LDT the past few weeks? Holy hell. Remember Denver gave up 30+ points against Indy at home earlier this year. Philip Rivers looks really good, and they are starting to run on all 10 cylinders. Yes, I said ten. The Chargers don't look like a V-8 right now.

New York Giants over JACKSONVILLE
The Jags have been so iffy this season, I don't like them against NY. The Giants have lost a lot of guys on Defense, but I don't think Jacksonville's offense can put up enough on the Giants to win.

And there you have it.
Last Week: 7-9 (first sub .500 week EVER)
Season: 88-56

Yeah, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that eve

2006-11-16T23:04:00.000-06:00

So, Holly and I have been on vacation since Sunday on the North Shore. We go up there every year around our anniversary to just spend some time together. This year is year number 5. We had a really good time, the weather wasn't all that great, but it didn't snow or rain, which would have been cool, considering we were on Lake Superior, but it was still a great way to relax. It's about a 4 hour drive, northeast of Duluth, right on the shoreline - really beautiful scenery. We always check out Split Rock lighthouse, and Gooseberry Falls, and we snap a bunch of cool pictures. We also went to Fitger's Brewhouse in Duluth and had dinner and some microbrews. Good stuff. We drove home today because I had bowling tonight. Regarding bowling, we won all 7 points tonight, against the second place team, so we're making our move. I had a 179, 225 and a 243 for a 647. Because my two posts last week were somehow deleted, that follows up my first 700, a 711 to be exact. I was worried that I would come in and shoot a 450 or something. But, I'm happy I was able to follow it up with a good night. Because I've been gone, I haven't made football picks yet, so I'm going to go do that now, and then relay them to you tomorrow. Also, tomorrow night I have a sleep study regarding my snoring and sleep apnea. Hopefully things go well. I'll be back tomorrow with football picks.

Work called, they said if you don't show up tomorrow, don't bother showing up Monday. Woo-hoo! Four day weekend!

2006-11-10T18:56:00.000-06:00

Ok, so I posted football picks last week, titled with "Cripple Fight" from South Park and a neat little picture showing Oakland and Seattle - I mean Timmy and Jimmy - fighting. I just don't get it though, the last three weeks have been HORRIBLE. I've been 7-6, 7-6 and 7-7. What the hell? Parity is a bitch.

Regardless, here are this weeks picks.

Home team in CAPS.

MINNESOTA over Green Bay
No way am I taking those idiots over the Vikings, EVER.

Baltimore over TENNESSEE
Should be interesting for Vince, going up against the Ravens' defense. Yeah, I'd say maybe 3 points for the Titans interesting.

JACKSONVILLE over Houston
Jacksonville lost to the Texans a few weeks ago. I don't see the same result this time, with Byron Leftwich sitting, and the Jaguars D tightening up.

Kansas City over MIAMI
Miami's win last week was a fluke. Damon Huard will prove it.

NEW ENGLAND over New York Jets
I don't really have anything funny to say about this one, except Chad Pennington's hair is weird.

San Diego over CINCINNATI
LT should run over the convicts, and I'm hoping that Philip Rivers will pass his ass off Sunday.

DETROIT over San Francisco
Detroit can score and the 49ers give up 33 points per game. Except last week, when they gave up 3.

PHILADELPHIA over Washington
Philly is coming off a bye, and Washington sucks. Recipe for disaster.

INDIANAPOLIS over Buffalo
No way Buffalo wins on Indy's turf.

ATLANTA over Cleveland
Another one of those kind of blah matchups.

Denver over OAKLAND
Oakland might not gain 50 yards, let alone a few points.

New Orleans over PITTSBURGH
The Steelers are fated to keep losing, because they were supposed to lose the Super Bowl last year. I think the Saints are just going to start hitting it.

St. Louis over SEATTLE
Seattle beat Oakland last week, big whup. Seneca Wallace is decent, but I think St. Louis will put them in their place.

Dallas over ARIZONA
Dallas just keeps getting lucky with crap teams.

NEW YORK GIANTS over Chicago
Rex isn't that great on the road, and the Giants are great at home. This will be a great game.

CAROLINA over Tampa Bay
Another crappy MNF game. Carolina will win this one.

And there you have it.
Last Week: 7-7
Season: 81-47

It's an Afghanistan goat, so it can't stay here, or else it'll choke on the sweet air of freedom.

2006-11-10T11:02:00.000-06:00

Sorry I wasn't able to post last night, I tried, but couldn't publish it. Anyway, bowling went well. The team won 5 points, and I had a 192, a 253 and a 266 for my first 700 series ever. I was pretty pumped about that. Other things to note about last night: my only open frame all night was the first frame of the first game; if you take the last 2 frames of the second game, and the first 8 frames of the third game, I actually had 12 strikes in a row - a 300 - just not in the same game; also, for the tournament I'm in I was able to post a 300 for that, so it puts me at the top of the board. Not much else to report, but later today, football picks! Hopefully I can get out of the hole I'm in.

So Tired

2006-11-02T22:17:00.000-06:00

I'm tired, and I don't want to write much so, here it is. We won 5 points at bowling, I had a 210, 180 and a 156. The lanes got DRY. Also, I entered a 20,000 dollar tournament, where it's pretty simple to cash. I'll explain more tomorrow, with football!

Hi Super Nintendo Chalmers!

2006-10-27T17:29:00.000-05:00

I have a feeling there is a lack of readership. I know some of you poke in every now and again to check things out, but I wish more of you would leave comments, letting me know you're still coming. I will press on, but it'd be nice to know people are actually reading what I'm writing.

On to football!

Home team in CAPS

KANSAS CITY over Seattle
No Shaun Alexander, no Matt Hasselbeck. KC has been really tough to beat at home this year, even though today we heard that Damon Huard may not be playing, I still think KC will win this one.

CHICAGO over San Francisco
The 49ers should leave their heart, and everything else back home, because the Bears are coming off of a bye, and they will be ready to kick some ass at home.

NEW ORLEANS over Baltimore
Baltimore's offense has been horrid, and the Saints are playing at home again, where they keep finding a way to win.

Houston over TENNESSEE
Houston has been a tough pick this year, but David Carr has been awesome. I think the Titans will compete at home, but the Texans will win this one.

GREEN BAY over Arizona
The Cardinals shouldn't have fired their offensive coordinator, as they only scored 9 points against Philip last week. The Packers are tough at home, sort of, and I think they'll win a close one.

NEW YORK GIANTS over Tampa Bay
The Giants looked great last Monday, and Tampa has been lucky the past 2 weeks. This will end this week in NY.

Atlanta over CINCINNATI
Cincy has kind of fallen off of the ship, and it's fun to watch all of their players get arrested. I think the Falcons will keep rolling.

PHILADELPHIA over Jacksonville
Byron Leftwich is NOT the right QB for the Jags, and Philly has had 3 really bad weeks, losing in the last minute of each week while being ahead.

SAN DIEGO over St. Louis
The loss of Merriman will hurt the Chargers, but LDT and Phil Rivers will prevail on turf. St. Louis has been over-rated, and they will start to fall off.

Pittsburgh over OAKLAND
Oakland winning last week was a fluke, they're going to get pounded this week, Roethlisberger or no Roethlisberger. I didn't look that up, I mean it.

Indianapolis over DENVER
This will be a close one, but I think Indy will score more touchdowns this week than Denver has given up all season(2). Mile High is a tough place to play, but Peyton finds ways to win.

New York Jets over CLEVELAND
This is one of those weird games that looks like it's gonna suck while watching. I definitley think so.

CAROLINA over Dallas
Dallas is a weak team, and like I said last week, they've been beating up on weaker teams. The Giants proved it last week, and Carolina will deflate the Cowboys a little more this week.

Ah, what the hell. MINNESOTA over New England.

And there you have it.
Last Week: 7-6
Season: 67-34

Yeah, so what? You wanna fight about it?

2006-10-26T22:10:00.000-05:00

So, I've had all of my doctor and dentist appointments this week, seeing as how I haven't been to either in at least 2 years. Teeth are good, neck is horrible, and I'm obese. Yeah, so what. I've taken steps, and will continue to take steps to remain - get - healthy. My blood pressure isn't bad, and my blood sugar is fine, which means I'm not getting diabetes. I have to wait for my cholesterol test, but it won't be long. Speaking of that, I passed out giving blood. Very weird. I gave blood in high school and passed out, and this time I didn't even watch or feel a thing, but I felt the needle come out, and it was like letting the air out of a balloon. Regardless, at least I went, and know what's going on inside me - to a degree.

As far as bowling goes tonight, we won all 7 points, which rocks. I bowled okay, not well. I started with a 202, then had a 173, but finished with a 132. I won a buck off of my brother too, because be bowled a 131. Haha.

This weekend Holly and I are going to a party in the sticks thrown by some good friends. It should be a great time, I'm really excited for it. For tomorrow, we have some friends coming over, but I should still be able to put out the football picks, so, keep an eye out.

Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.' Peter, those are Cheerios.

2006-10-21T15:10:00.000-05:00

Sorry for not posting the picks yesterday. Holly and I went to a freinds house and hung out, and ended up staying late, and I didn't have time to write. But it's not like you were relying on me for this weeks picks...right?

If anyone paid attention to last weeks picks, I got 6 picks wrong by 25 points. If you eliminate the ATL NYG game, that number goes down to 5 incorrect by 12 points. That's an average of LESS than 3 points a game. Vegas must have been rolling in it last week. Those games could have swung either way, and I felt the brunt of it. Regardless, this week looks a bit easier.

Home team in caps.

San Diego over KANSAS CITY
The Damon Huard train has to derail sometime. Oh wait, that happened last week. Look for this to be a repeat performance.

Jacksonville over HOUSTON
If you look at all of the stats associated with this game the Jags should have the ball around 40-45 minutes this game, and Houston shouldn't get the ball more than 4 times.

CINCINNATI over Carolina
Everyone is picking the Panthers, because they are starting to come around with Steve Smith back in the lineup. But I don't feel like they'll pull it out. This is going to be a close one.

NEW YORK JETS over Detroit
John Kitna on the road? Hahahahahahaha.

Green Bay over MIAMI
I hate the Packers, but I'm trying to improve my record. Joey Harrington is Miami's option for survival?

New England over BUFFALO
I think the Pats will be looking for a little revenge after their previous meeting - that and they're finally running on most of their cylinders.

Philadelphia over TAMPA BAY
The Bucs got lucky last week, on a couple of bogus calls. This won't happen against the Iggles.

Pittsburgh over ATLANTA
I think the Falcons are on a downward swing, and the Steelers are coming up. This might be a little lopsided.

Denver over CLEVELAND
Cleveland sucks, denver has only given up 1 touchdown this year.

Arizona over PHILLIP
Arizona proved something last week, but I don't know if it will carry over this week. They might overlook the Raiders, but I don't think they can lose this game.

SEATTLE over Minnesota
The Seahawks home crowd is LOUD. I think that in itself will be a lot to overcome, besides their potent offense, with or without Shaun Alexander. I don't think the Vikes can score enough points to keep up.

INDIANAPOLIS over Washington
Indy has only lost 6 or so games in the past 3 years at home. Washington will struggle to keep up with Peyton and co.

New York Giants over DALLAS
EVERYONE is picking Dallas. But I definitley don't agree. Dallas has beat up on weak teams, while the Giants have played some good competition. I think Eli squeeks this one out.

Last Week: 7-6
Season: 60-28

And there you have it.

Dad, what's the point of this story? I like stories.

2006-10-19T22:12:00.000-05:00

I apologize for not posting anything in the past week, but it's kind of tough to post anything with a Vikings bye week. Yes, that's a horrible excuse, but it's the truth. I really didn't have anything to write about - until now.

There are two things I want to cover before I get into my regular Thursday night post. One, because most of you who read this are fairly young and starting out your lives, I thought this was interesting for all of us. You should all read this.

Secondly, a new bill was signed into law this past week, and most of you probably already know, but the president essentially eliminated habeus corpus. Which basically means anyone - terrorist, U.S. Citizen, 4 year old - can be detained, tortured, interrogated, and kept imprisoned without legal aid, and without cause, for as long as desired by those who have done the arrest. I don't know about you, but this is not cool. I am all for a conservative government, and I feel our current administration has done an okay job, up until the past few months. However, everything our forefathers fought for and established our nation on has basically been thrown in the trash. I believe congress is out of touch, they are all a bunch of upper class know it alls, who believe they are working in the best interest of us, a nation made of middle class citizens. How is this possible? I would think that the supreme court would step in and rule this law as unconstitutional, but guess what? Our supreme court is a republican majority. And they are appointed for life, and there doesn't appear to be anyone retiring any time soon. I've always said my worst fear is to be imprisoned for something I didn't do, and now the government doesn't even need a reason to arrest us. It's just wrong.

Lastly, the bowling. Tonight we bowled the first place team in the league, and we sort of held our own. We won the first game, even though my brother bowled a 69 - no, that's not a typo - the rest of us had 200's, including my 240 and Eddie's 254. However, in the second and third games, Brian - on the other team - had a 277 and a 279. He finished with a 770, which is reDONKulous. I've never seen anyone get so close to an 800. I also had a 158 (ugh) and a 212. I finished with a 610, which is pretty awesome for me.

And finally, yes, I'm contradicting my last paragraph, I have a freaking cavity in a tooth. It sucks, and it makes my head hurt. It just came on today too. What the hell? I don't drink pop, I don't eat things with sugar for the most part, and I brush and floss. Ugh. I need to go to the dentist anyway, so I suppose this is a good reason to do it sooner.

Tomorrow, football picks.

I'm not fat, I just haven't grown into my body yet you skinny bitch.

2006-10-13T12:40:00.000-05:00

Title courtesy of Eric Cartman.

If anyone is looking for a new bit to run on telemarketers, I suggest you listen to this.

Regardless, Friday's are for football.
Freaking Ravens. Actually, freakin' Steve McNair. I was this close to perfection. And like I said, I'll probably go 5-9 this week - especially if you see the schedule.
Home team in caps. Duh.

DALLAS over Houston
Drew Bledsoe sucks, and the Eagles proved it. But, the Texans aren't the Eagles.

Philadelphia over NEW ORLEANS
Man, tough one. The Saints look good at home, and Philly is coming off of a huge win, this could be a let down game, but I don't think so. I think the Eagles are eager to prove everyone wrong.

Seattle over ST. LOUIS
Another tough one, Shawn Alexander isn't playing this week, but he will be against the Vikings! That, and the Rams defense has been decent, with Seattle's O-line not so great. I think the Seahawks will win this one, barely.

ATLANTA over New York Giants
The Falcons have looked pretty good, and they're getting some of their defensive starters back this week. NY can't play right out of the gate, and I think Vick will be trouble for them.

WASHINGTON over Tennessee
I can't really pick Tennessee yet. Or, ever.

Buffalo over DETROIT
After watching the Lions piss away the lead last week against the Vikings, I put them in the Oakland and Tennessee echelon. I think McGahee will run all day against the Lions horrible D.

BALTIMORE over Carolina
Baltimore should redeem themselves at home, as their defense should be able to contain Steve Smith, or at least hurry Delhomme too much.

Cincinnati over TAMPA BAY
This will be another close one, as the Bucs are close, even with the Polish bricklayer quarterbacking. But I still think Cincy can figure out how to win better.

San Diego over SAN FRANCISCO
This could be a fantasy player's game, as they could roll up 55+ points. I like LDT running up and down against the 49ers and Philip Rivers showed us last week that he can throw the ball, pretty well in fact.

PITTSBURGH over Kansas City
Damon Huard as your quarterback can only last for so long. The Steelers have been embarrassed by their play the last few weeks. I think they're going to take it out on the Chiefs this week.

NEW YORK JETS over Miami
Now the Fins are going with Joey Harrington. Less mobile, more fragile than Culpepper. This should be good.

DENVER over Oakland
Boy am I glad I picked up Denver's defense this week. This could be the blowout game of the week, if not for...

Chicago over ARIZONA
Yes, it will be the national debut of the pink taco stadium, but Chicago, as much as it kills me, is awesome right now. The Cardinals will feel the wrath, and this could be another Seattle or Buffalo type game for the Bears.

There you have it.
Last week: 13-1
Season: 53-22

When i grow up, I want to be a principal or a caterpillar.

2006-10-12T23:16:00.000-05:00

Before I get into my weekly bowling update, I just wanted to say a few things about the unfortunate plane crash yesterday in NY. I think just about all of us held our breath for a quick second when we first heard or saw what was going on. It didn't really feel like a terrorist attack, but the simple fact that that idea entered our minds shows us just what kind of world we live in today. To add to that, hearing that it was Cory Lidle, was just jaw-dropping. The guy just pitched on Sunday against the Tigers. I guess it's always a little more grounding when we witness an athlete, or a movie star, or anyone well known, die. We hold these people above us, whether we feel like we do or not, we really do; and when something like this happens, it really reminds us that we aren't invincible, and that we never know when our day will come. Please don't forget that someone else died yesterday in that crash, his name was Tyler Stanger. He was a flight instructor. No one has really said if he has family or not, but he was 26, three years older than I am. Cory left behind a wife and a 6 year old son. Please tell your children, and parents, and grandparents, and sisters, and brothers, and wives, and husbands, and friends, and anyone who means something to you, that you love them. We really don't know when we can be gone.

As far as the bowling goes, we won all 7 points tonight. The team we bowled had pretty much an identical average as ours, so it was a good test of equals. We smoked 'em. As for me, I had a 175, 180 and 181; so I remained consistent. Greg had a nice 276, and reliable Eddie had a 702. Which, if you don't know, is very difficult. Enough of that. Tomorrow, football picks.

Oh. Well, then just give me a six-pack and a couple of bags of Skittles.

2006-10-09T17:07:00.000-05:00

How 'bout those Twins. I don't really feel angry towards them, as they really weren't expecting to make it to the playoffs, but after making such a late season comeback, I feel a little letdown seeing them swept out of the post season. But, there is hope loyal Twindom, as with the experience we have gained with the grind of the final half of the season, and the playoffs, we should be a better team next season, and favored to go to the World Series. That, and we'll be dumping the payrolls of BRadke, Carlos 'the Jackal' Silva, and possibly Rondell 'Ain't' White; along with losing the salaries of Bautista and Sierra . We could spring for a more defined power hitter to brace Morneau from the right side, and have an extremely deadly 3-7 in the lineup. Anyway, a better than expected season, and I'm expecting bigger things next year. Enough of that, how about the Vikings backing their way into the win yesterday? 2 defensive touchdowns needed to seal the victory, which brings the season tally to Offense: 4 - Defense: 3. I wonder if any team's defense has ever outscored its offense in touchdowns for a season. Should be interesting to watch.
I don't want to jinx it, but after yesterday, I am a perfect 13-0 for my football picks this week, and if Baltimore pulls it off, I will be perfect. Yeah, and next week I'll go 5-8.

What's the point of minin' for gold if I can't show the townspeople?

2006-10-06T16:38:00.000-05:00

Another awesome video for your viewing pleasure. It's a video of the Bloodhound Gang (of Fire, Water, Burn fame) signing a song comprised entirely of Ralph Wiggum quotes.
If you want to know exactly what is being said CLICK HERE.

Anyway, on to what we've all come here to see: Hardcore Nudity! (Football)

New way to display picks - I will write ______ over ______. Instead of dealing with 2 different font changes, because that gets tiresome.

As always, home team is in caps.

St. Louis over GREEN BAY
Am I really ever supposed to be able to pick the Packers this season? As long as Brett FavRE is back there slinging prayers to Donald "Can't catch against Philly" Driver, I won't be picking them. Unless they play Oakland. Which they don't. 0-16 BABY!

NEW ORLEANS over Tampa Bay
Tampa Bay is starting a guy named Bruce Gradkowski this week, and for the rest of the year, because Chris Simms was de-spleened 2 weeks ago. Bruce Gradkowski sounds like a polish ironworker. Polish ironworkers don't have the hands of great quarterbacks. Besides, the Saints are at home, and everyone (the NFL) knows no one is supposed to beat the Saints in the Superdome this year.

INDIANAPOLIS over Tennessee
HA! Good luck Vince.

MINNESOTA over Detroilet
Sure, I'm being a homer, and I'm okay with that. But I don't see us losing to a team that is affectionately called "The Motor City Kitties" by their fans. I don't really know what to say that would be appropriate for all ages.

CHICAGO over Buffalo
Wow the Bears looked good against Seattle last week. Buffalo doesn't stand a chance in Chicago, especially when they barely beat the Vikings.

NEW YORK GIANTS over Washington
I think the Giants are too pissed about giving up 40+ 2 weeks ago against Seattle to succumb to anything Mark Brunell can throw at them. If he can throw! HA!

CAROLINA over Cleveland
Yeah, the Browstains beat Oakland last Sunday. Clap. That's like beating your Grandma at 1 on 1. Now that Steve Smith is back in action, look for Jake Delhomme to bust out this Sunday, because I'm starting him at QB on my fantasy team.

NEW ENGLAND over Miami
The Patriots absolutely embarrassed Cincinnati last week. Miami is the laughing stock of the AFC, mainly because we can't laugh at Oakland, just feel bad for them. Kind of like the kid that wore the hockey helmet in high school with "Phillip" taped to it. Yeah, you knew him, don't tell me you didn't. Anyway, look for Daunte to look like he's ready to own a sporting goods store on Sunday.

SAN FRANCISCO over Oakland (Phillip)
As a recap, Phil almost beat Cleveland last week. And that's some sort of major accomplishment for them, like missing the toilet seat for the first time when standing. But, they still don't know that they're supposed to put that toilet seat up. San Francisco was CREAMED last week by KC, but Phil's defense is a sieve.

Kansas City over ARIZONA
If only because Damon Huard looked decent last week, and their defense gave up 0 points to an okay offensive team, I need to pick Arizona because they are the 49ers south of the Mason-Dixon line. I believe Matt Leinart is starting this game, and he's ready, but I don't think he's this ready.

JACKSONVILLE over New York Jets
Jacksonville got it bad last week, to the Redskins nonetheless. I think they will bounce back at home this week to a decent Jets team, and give their fans hope that they won't implode every week.

PHILADELPHIA over Dallas
This one is tough, but I have to take Philly at home, considering they looked good last week against Green Bay, and there's an off chance that T.O. may leave the game because of a concussion. From a blow to the head. From a wrench of some type. Thrown by a fan. Philly fans have NO sympathy, especially for someone who sold them out. I mean, they booed Michael Irvin when he may have had a broken neck. Wow. Watch this game.

A WHALE'S VAGINA over Pittsburgh
I like the Chargers in this game, because they're at home, and Pittsburgh still isn't to form yet. Or maybe they are, and last year was sort of a mirage.

Baltimore over DENVER
Denver is all over the board, sloppy here, great there. You don't know what to expect. Well, expect that the Ravens' defense will show up, again, and they will be performing on national TV. I guarantee Ray Lewis will do some sort of crazy dance after being the 3rd guy to pile on a tackle, and act like he did it.

There you have it.
Last Week: 9-5
Season: 40-21

I'll be deep in the cold, cold ground before I ever recognize Missourah!

2006-10-05T22:53:00.000-05:00

So, bowling went well tonight, we've been in kind of a rut, and tonight was some kind of progress. We bowled a top 5 team, and we took 4 points, narrowly missing on 5 by seven pins. The scoring was high, as we almost had 3000 pins as a team for the night, which is huge. I had another good night, 2 in a row for the first time in a long time, as I had a 169, 183 and a 224. All in all, I hope this means better things for the next few weeks.

The Twins play tomorrow at 3, and I think I'll be home, or close to home to watch it. This may be Brad Radke's last game, and I'd like to see him off, as he is probably one of the best Twins players in history. And don't try to argue it, the man has balls, big ones, and we will miss him.

Come back tomorrow, as I will be giving my football picks for the weekend, and possibly recapping the Twins game.

I bent my wookie.

2006-10-04T20:13:00.000-05:00

The Twins sure bent their wookies. Man, I never thought we'd be down 2-0 after Santana pitched and we got to face Loaiza at home. I don't really know what to say, I'm so down about this. Hockey starts soon. The Wild look pretty good this year, I haven't ever followed hockey that closely, but I would like to probably start, especially with all the buzz around this year's team. Don't get me wrong, I'm not bailing on the Twins, yet, but they have had a total case of the ass-bats the past 2 days. I'm willing to bet it's because 7/10ths of our batting lineup hasn't had any playoff experience. I'm thinking that after this postseason, most of the guys will feel like they belong, and because of Detroit's fluke this year, and Chicago's aging, we'll be okay for next year, and maybe make a good run. Again, I'm NOT bailing on this team, but the way things are going, even if we do get out of the ALDS, I don't envision us containing the Yankees. God how I hate to say that. If there is anybody out there I wish failure on, it's them. Damn Yankees.

Right Lisa, some magical animal.

2006-10-02T23:34:00.000-05:00

So, after I posted my last entry, I had an immediate comment, which you may have seen. Yeah, I am official, as I get SPAM in my postings. I changed the settings so you have to verify the word in your comment post for it to complete. Sorry for the hassle, but reading about Abercrombie and Fitch & all natural male enhancement isn't cool to me.

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

2006-10-02T23:11:00.000-05:00

Boy what a weekend. First the Twins beat the White Sux to have a chance at the American League Central, and then K.C. pulls off the unimaginable by sweeping the Tigers, in Detroit, to give us the league championship, home field advantage in the first round (possibly the second) and sends the Freakin' A's to the dome instead of having to go to New York to start out. Then, the Vikings look terrible by losing to a mediocre team by killing themselves with penalties, missed tackles and dropped passes. Perhaps mediocrity is the expectation for this team, not over achievement. And then, possibly the best thing this weekend, Steve and Janel had their baby, a girl, who they named Julianna Mae. She's adorable, and I know Steve's really excited.

Here are some pictures:

As far as sports go, with Philadelphia winning tonight, I went 9-5 for the weekend, not too bad, but I really missed the mark on the Cheifs -- Who would have thought Huard could be nearly perfect, let alone complete more than 10 passes? Jacksonville got really lazy against Washington, they should NOT have lost that game. Cinci laid down against New England, Ravens/Chargers was too close to call anyway, and the Vikes, well, you know.

MLB playoffs officially start at noon tomorrow. I will find a way to observe that game while at work, if I have to buy a radio subscription to MLB I will, but I am not missing these games. I think the Twinkies will win in 4, 3 if we get bat happy. Regardless, it's going to be an awesome baseball postseason.

Anyway, congratulations again Steve and Janel, I can't wait to watch her grow up.

Is it Sunday yet?

2006-09-30T15:40:00.000-05:00

I went golfing today at Wild Marsh in Buffalo. It's a really nice course, and they have a fall special that's going on right now. The trees all around the course were amazing, like they were on fire. It's probably the best golf viewing that I have ever experienced. Not a whole lot goes on on Saturdays, so I'm just hanging around the house waiting to see what's happenin' tonight. I was reading through my comments and saw that Steve wasn't waiting for football tomorrow, but rather the cheerleaders. So, as a sneak preview for tomorrow the guys at Kissing Suzy Kolber have donated this to the world, and I am passing it along to you, Steve.

I'm a white male, age 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me, no matter how dumb my suggestions are.

2006-09-29T13:26:00.000-05:00

For those of you who haven't seen it, go here:

Get Down With Ya Bad Self

Sorry I couldn't load it directly into the blog, I'm working on that. However, this is quite possibly the best video in the history of mankind. I believe this is before Menudo. Why didn't they have a midget Menudo? The potential was there.

On to football!

I'm just going to call games straight up, no spreads. Although I understand spreads, I don't follow every team nearly that close, and it can get confusing for anyone reading who doesn't understand it. Besides, I've had a 75-80% success rate over the past 4 years, so I think I do it pretty well.

Home Teams in Caps, pick is in bold:

San Francisco @ KANSAS CITY
KC is still reeling after losing Trent Green to a concussion. Although they're one of the toughest beats on the road, I don't see the offense clicking enough to keep up with the 7 squareds.

Miami @ HOUSTON
If I know anything, its that Daunte Culpepper sucks, especially in a west coast offense, which is what Mike Mularkey thinks works. Well, without a QB that can dump short passes and avoid the INT, you end up 1-2 Miami. I pick the Texans for their first win of the year, plus my boss is from Houston.

Dallas @ TENNESSEE
Tennessee may be the worst team in the league, only because Oakland should be in NFL Europe right now. As long as Kerry Collins is still "leading" this team - maybe he's been drunk the last 3 weeks - and Vince Young only plays one series per half, the Titans are going nowhere. Look for Dallas to put the T.O. O.D. behind them and blow out the Titans, even with Drew Bledsoe.

Indianapolis @ NEW YORK JETS
While the Jets have looks decent the past 3 weeks, they gave up almost 500 yards of offense in losing to Buffalo. BUFFALO! If things were relative, Peyton would have a shot at 1000 yards passing. But we all know that couldn't happen...Look for Indy to roll in NY.

Minnesota @ BUFFALO
This should be an interesting game. The Vikes need to prove they have an offense, and Buffalo needs to retain some pride. I think the Vikings will come out with the victory, by as much as a TD, but we need more O Brads.

San Diego @ BALTIMORE
Talk about a great game. Baltimore has a great defense, but they still have McNair leading the offense. He's due to collapse any day now because of his arthritic hip. LT looks too good, and the Chargers are off a bye week.

New Orleans @ CAROLINA
Yes, the Saints are 3-0, but they beat Cleveland and Green Bay, and had emotion going for them last Monday against Atlanta. That is exactly why they won't win this week. They will be drained, and the actual grass at Panther Stadium will expose the slowness of their defense, as the FieldTurf at the SuperDome brings the other team to their level, thus overrating them last week.

Arizona @ ATLANTA
If I were the Falcons, I'd be pissed. And I'm sure they are, and they are going to take it out on Kurt Warner. Their D is better than they showed last week, and Arizona isn't really that great, they've just played poor teams. We might see Matt Leinart this week, but that won't help the Cards much either.

Detroit @ ST. LOUIS
Snoozer of the week. Detroilet can't score hardly at all, and all St. Louis can do is kick field goals. However, the Lions are HORRIBLE on the road, not to mention at home too, but they will be overmatched this weekend in game that the score will look closer than the game was.

Cleveland @ OAKLAND
Coma of the week. Cleveland will win. Art Shell will say nothing and scribble on his clipboard.

Jacksonville @ WASHINGTON
Jacksonville may be the best team in football, their defense will make you bleed, but Leftwich can kill the team. Washington hasn't looked like the playoff bound team people thought they'd be, probably because their quarterback is 62 and has the mobility of a beached manatee.

New England @ CINCINNATI
Tom Brady needs to get over the fact that Deion Branch left, and the front office isn't pushing for anyone. Until he gets his head out of his ass, he's going to get beat by good teams, and the Bengals are a good team, off the field issues are another story. The stadium will be loud, and the reeling Pats defense will have a hard time containing Rudi, TJ Whosyourmama, Chad and Travis (window puker) Henry.

Seattle @ CHICAGO
As much as I hate to do this, Chicago will win, simply because Shawn Alexander will be sitting. This destroys the playmaking ability of Matt Hasselbeck, as there is no other threat other than his wideouts, which will be covered thoroughly. Chicago wins a close one at home.

Green Bay @ PHILADELPHIA
Green Bay sucks, they always have no matter what their record states, and Philly is pretty good this year, if you haven't noticed. (27 point comebacks aside). Look for Brett FavRE to throw at LEAST 1 pick, and the Eagles will roll upwards of 40 points on the Pack.

There you have it.
Last week: 8-6
Season: 31-15

Alcohol. The cause and solution to all of life's problems.

2006-09-28T22:01:00.000-05:00

So, as some of you know, I bowl on Thursday nights in a league, at a crappy bowling alley. I have fun, and so does my team. That's that. Tonight, we only won 2 of 7 possible points, as we only won 1 of 3 games, and lost the total pin count. We did this to a horrible team. The problem lies in the fact that 4 of the 5 of us have averages over 175. When you bowl guys with 150 averages, and you have to give them handicap, that becomes a problem, especially when they have a carreer night. I bowled well, a 185, 196 and a 212, which is nice because I've sucked the past two weeks; but it still sucks to lose to a bad team. I'll be talking about bowling most Thursday PM/Friday AM.

In other sports related news, I'm getting really geeked up about the Twins and the post season. I've been excited the whole season, and their effort is really paying off now, and it will be fun to see us again in October. I just finished watching the game tonight, and although we only scored 2 runs against K.C., we still won, and Bradke pitched! And pitched well. After watching Chairman Mauer hit that home run to tie the game in the ninth, I knew we had it made, especially after Twitchy McXanax (Joe Nathan) came in to shut down the offensive juggernaut otherwise known as the Royals. And lo and behold, Jason Bartlett comes through again. Great stuff.

I don't want to get too wordy this late, and I don't want to waste space for tomorrow, so, make sure to come back as I will be releasing my weekly football picks for Sunday. Besides, I have DVR'ed CSI to watch.

What, the Rusty Trombone wasn't good enough?

2006-09-28T10:34:00.000-05:00

Oh Screech, where have you gone? What would Lisa think about this?

From the New York Daily News:

He may have played nerdy eighth-grader Samuel (Screech)
Powers in the sitcom "Saved by the Bell." But former TV geek Dustin Diamond can now take his place with Colin Farrell, Tommy Lee and Kid Rock as the star of his very own sex tape.

Check out the full story:

Screech's Sexcapades

Dirty Sanchez.

Ah, yeah...

2006-09-27T17:28:00.000-05:00

Sorry to anyone who tried to view the blog and post a comment. I needed to tweek a setting so that anyone can post, but it's good now. Onto a topic I'm sure everyone's heard about today: Terrell Owens. I don't want to talk about it, because I can't stand him. I don't feel the need to give him publicity if he needs help or if it was a stunt. If he needs help, he'll get it and all the better to him, but if it was a stunt, that is an ultimate new low that NO ONE should get reprieve from.

Holy Crap I Have A Blog

2006-09-27T14:47:00.000-05:00

Well, this is the first, could be the only. Who knows. I will mainly talk sports, alcohol and news. Not necessarily in that order, but I WON'T be political, this is not going to be me shoving ideals down peoples throats, just social commentary - hence the name. A little about me? Okay. I'm 23, and have a pretty good life. I live with my girlfriend, Holly, who has put up with me for almost 5 years now, since we met in 2001 in college. We have 2 cats. (That should be the last time you read anything dealing with cats that I write in this blog). I have a B.S. in Sport Studies from the U of MN, and I currently work for Golf Intelligence, Inc., which developed the National Golf Network - ngn.com - which is a social networking site for golfers, along with a Golf Life Management System, and an authorized USGA Handicap Index provider. There, I got the boring stuff out of the way. Onward and upward.